First week of work

So I think I survived my first week of work. I'm not going to lie, it was a stressful week. I worked everyday, a few hours each day. Yesterday though was the longest day I worked. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I just watched, trained, bussed tables, and helped out where I could. Thursday we were really busy so I ended up taking to go orders and had my first table. Friday I worked for a few hours and worked only the bar and to go orders. Yesterday I had a few tables, the bar, and to go orders. I sorta have the hang of it but I don't think I could do it all by myself.

Total tips between Thursday and yesterday I made 150. Which really really shocked me. I will be putting that in a jar for a little "fun" money for Mister and I.

Mister has duty today so I'm home alone with the doggies. I guess I'm sorta glad because I can finally catch up on house work that I've missed because of work and homework. He tried to do some laundry the other day and I stopped him because I don't want him touching my new washing machine and dryer lol. I don't think he really knows what to do with me working and being gone when he comes home. haha.

The pups have a vet appointment on Wednesday. Not really excited about that because I have to take them both at the same time haha! Lillie is getting her chip and a shot and Allie is getting a shot.

I have to run now beacuse Mister has asked for some dinner haha. ;-) Hope everyone has had a great weekend and will have a great week.



That post I keep putting off

So a few times I have mentioned that I will "post about that later" or "thats another post all it own" but I haven't gotten to it because I just wasn't ready to yet. But I think I am now.

Last May, Mister and I started to "not, not try" to have a baby. Mister knew I wanted a baby and knew that I would be hoping for one. But we decied to not put any stress on it. When he left for a month in September for training he had a lot to think about. He came home and told me he would really like to try to have a baby if I would stop bugging him about re-enlisting. I figured that was a good enough deal for me.

So as of October we have been really trying. I haven't gone to the doctor, but I have been paying attention to my body, taking my temperature and buying the ovulation kits. There have been  few times where I had pregnancy syptoms and I would be between 2-5 weeks late. But it never failed aunt flow (AF) would come and go.

Then in December we found out that my little sister was pregnant. I think thats when my heart about broke. I feel like a terrible person because I cannot find it in me to be happy or excited for her. I know I should be because come August I will be an aunt but I just can't get over my selfishness to be happy for her.

It also hasn't helped that she has said things to me that are very very hurtful.

Thats when I fell into this blue mood that I'm in. Mister and I still have fun when he is home and we go out and do a lot. I decided that starting in January I wouldn't try so hard. I would just try to go back to just "having fun" with it all. But it is easier said then done to get something you want so bad out of your head.

I haven't been to church in a while. So I sometimes think that maybe He is just mad at me and punishing me. I use to be the one that would tell people the He has a plan for all ofus and its not your time. But lately I've been having a hard time listening to my own words. And when friends or family go to tell me this I just ant to slap them across the face. I know thats mean but I can't hear that anymore.
It makes me sad when my mom will call to tell me that so and so that she ran into that day at the grocery store in our home town has asked if there is a baby yet on the way from us. And then the disappointment in her voice when she tells me what she had said breaks my heart.
 I knw we have a long road ahead of this and I know I just ned to be patient. But thats easier said than done. I find it more and more that women are having a hard time conceiving a baby. I wonder why that is. And its usually always those who really really want one. Those that have their life in order and bringing a child into their world wouldn't be a burden unlike all the teens still in high school getting pregnant.
I better end my post there before I say too much and really show how bitter I am. I hope you all have a great weekend. Mister is home now but has duty on Sunday.

Another lonely holiday and some updates:

Happy late Valentines Day to all of you. I read up on a few posts and loved every ones plans and decorations and all the love that was in the air. Unfortunately Mister is still away for training so we didn't get to spend the day together. I did though make sure to get him his favorite Dark chocolate and at Target they had heart boxed candy of Reese's peanut butter cups (those are his favorites) so I got him one of those and then both first seasons of Spartacus were on sale so I snagged those and I can't wait to give them to him on Friday when I get to pick him up.

The last post I posted I said I had an interview. Well it went well. She actually hired me right on the spot. Its a waitress job at a cute diner here on base. I started on Monday and so far its going ok. I've never waited before and I was/still am a little nervous about it but its fun so far.

Sunday I got to drive down and spend sometime with Mister. We walked the beach and grabbed dinner. It was a nice weekend. I did however dropped my id and my debit card from my pocket, somewhere along the beach haha. I went ahead and called the bank and had it cancelled the second I found out. Then about 30 minutes later Mister found them. Oh was he mad at me hehe. OOPS!

Update on the pups:

We have a vet appt. for both of them on Wednesday. Allie has to get a shot and Lillie gets a shot and her micro-chip.

Lillie has become fascinated with the television. She sits and watches every movement on it. I think she thinks its a window and the people and animals are outside haha. Its so cute and funny. I'll have to take a picture next time. Allie Is still a pain but she is very over protective of me.

I haven't been posting much because I've been a little blue and have had nothing fun or entertaining to share.

I did however go to the movies Friday and saw THE VOW. It was super cute. It was sad for me. I'm going to put a spoiler alert right here because I'm going to share a piece from the beginning of the movie. About 3 minutes in they are in their car and the female character takes off her seat belt and starts to lean across to her husband and says something like this "they say the best way to conceive a baby is in a vehicle" now that isn't word for word, but its the just of what is said. It really hit home because the second after she says that the car is hit and she is thrown out the window. You know that she looses her memory and she doesn't know who her husband is. It makes me so sad because she wanted a baby and now she has to start all over. Just sorta hit home for me I suppose.

Well I guess that is all I have for today. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday.

This and That

I finished the first book of The Hunger Games last night and wow was it good. Totally left me hanging and I am not too happy with whats going on between 2 characters but I have started the second book and I hope that all that gets sorted out the way I want it to hehe.

Mister had his re-DLPT yesterday. He didn't come home with the same scores as in November of 2010, but thats to be expected since he hasn't really kept up the language and didn't really study. He did come home with some scores that will def. be bringing in a little bit more income then this month and January but it won't be as much as in December.

I'm still very proud of him for getting the scores he did.

I have an interview today at 4 for a little restaurant on base. I just decided to stay out of the drama and go ahead and just stay super busy. I'm not holding my breath I'll get it but if I do the little extra cash coming in will be nice spending money for me hehe.

Mister doesnt' have duty on Super Bowl Sunday any more but its too late to have a party because I'm sure everyone already has a place to go. Except for a friend of Mister's and his very sweet girlfriend. So I'll have a few food items and drinks for the game. But it won't be the party I've been hoping for for a few years now lol.

I had full intentions of hitting the commissary as soon as it opened at 9 this morning but I was dragged into the second book and I didn't make it out of the house. I don't like to go during the afternoon because there are so many people and screaming kids. I guess I will just have to go later tonight or early tomorrow or skip it all together and go to Walmart.

Funny little update on the pups. Lillie has a small bed that is big for her but tiny for Allie and it is next to my side of the bed. Allie has a bed too but it is so disgusting from being at Mister's moms house it needs to be cleaned, but i haven't had the chance so its still in the garage. I found an old old big blanket and made pad on the floor next to Mister's side of the bed for Allie. Now of course Lillie ends up in the bed with us so the past few nights Allie has gotten smart and decided to start sleeping on Lillies bed. hehe. Such silly dogs. A few time Lillie has woken up to find her on her bed and she has growled a little but she gets over it.

Maybe this weekend I will attack the big long To Do List I've been putting off since the first week of January.

Well I'm off to get ready for the interview and run to the Post Office. Happy Friday. May you all have a GREAT Weekend!!

Off the band wagon...again

You may know what I'm talking about. I'm off facebook again. But only this time I feel it will be for good.

Yeah I may get on now and then to check in or get something if I need it, but I don't have it on my cell anymore. So I'm not speeding every other 3 minutes checking the new updates. I did log on real quick this afternoon to get an email and I went ahead and scrolled down the news feed only to see how much drama filled that site is. Made my heart ache so I jumped right back off after I got the email I needed.

Didn't facebook start out for only those that were attending college and had a school email? I want to say I had to have my old SRSU email to get on. I may be wrong. But if I'm right then I feel I can honestly say that about 75% of my friends aren't in college and never were. So facebook has totally become the place where you can post about your day, stalk people who you don't talk to at all, and post ugly things about your "friends." Thats the one that urks me the most. It is utterly childish. I believe there has been a few posts about myself and I was just blown away. Of course I can see it why don't they just grow up and tell me in person or even over the phone? I will admit though that in '09 I was guilty of doing the same. But something hit me and I grew up. I have the urge to want to say something on their only because I know they will see it but I don't.

Being a military wife I think has made me become bitter. I feel like I'm in high school again with the two-face that goes on, the lies, the childish acts are just a bit much. Yes there are some ladies that are absolutely amazing but the majority are not unfortunatly. Mister who is a good people reader tried a few times to warn me but I was (his words) "obsessed with their kids." Yes he was really right. I loved those kids to death, and yes it was unhealthy not only for the child but for myself. I am not going to be in their lives forever. Maybe a few more years, 2 at the most but we are moving back to Texas. Most of these people are from totally different states. I'm never going to visit these people, and they are never going to visit me.

These are just thoughts that have been on my mind for a long time and I'm hoping that once I type it all out I will no longer think about these things. FINGERS CROSSED!

I've set up my "office" and I have put my maps up on the walls. I have the US map on the wall right in front of me and the world map on the wall to my left. As I look up to the US map I look at the big, great state of Texas. We are from a small town in WEST Texas. The real West Texas. I hate it when people say they are from West Texas and you ask what town or city and they reply with Big Spring or San Angelo, or even Lubbock! I'm sorry but Lubbock is pretty much in the pan handle. No it is in the pan handle of Texas. San Angelo is pretty much almost in the center of Texas and Big Spring is just below the pan handle but not close to West Texas at all.

I've also started reading the Hunger Games series. I'm on the first book and I just hit chapter 20. It like the Twilight books gives me chills and, well I don't want to say nightmares, but they also are happy dreams. But unlike Twilight it isn't a "love" kind of book. Its not my normal Nicolas Sparks. Its not the Notebook. Ha! I find myself staying up past my bedtime to read a few more chapters. I normally say I'll read 1, 2 chapters a night at the most but with this one its been closer to 4, 5 chapters a night. Ha! I also take the kindle with me to the restroom, the kitchen, in the car ride to the commissary, and out to eat. Ha! Physco yes. It is a really good book so far but it has be totally stressing out. Ha!

If you haven't picked it up to read it yet, I totally suggest it! ;-)